Synonyms would be congruent, consistent, identical, in agreement.
This is the basis for working by referral. This system is built on relationships and relationships are built on trust. Trust comes when we see the inside matches the outside. Congruent. The inside is in agreement with what you see on the outside.
Humans give off energy. Maybe not in the physical sense (although some articles say we give off light) but you can tell when someone is mad just by looking at them. Facial expressions, etc give us a lot of information. It’s not too hard to tell when someone is hiding something unless they are really good at controlling micro expressions. You can learn to read them better but we are pretty good at picking up on them naturally. We may not realize where the ‘feeling’ comes from but some folks just give us a bad vibe.
My point is, we have to be ourselves if we are going to do this business based on building relationships. You can’t really hide who you are and build trust with folks. They will know you are hiding something.
Authenticity, Reciprocity, Connectivity. These are all words to describe how we build relationships but it all starts from being ourselves. Relax and be honest with folks and it will pave the way to more business, better business and better relationships.
I think the best way to practice this is to be an active listener. As Stephen Covey said ‘seek first to understand, then be understood’. If you can honestly put aside your opinion long enough to listen to another and really understand where they’re coming from, it’s easier to then share your thoughts and opinions (if you still believe in them) and it can be the start of a great relationship that grows from mutual respect.
Active listening is hard work and we have to focus on the other person. We can’t be thinking about how we are going to respond. Some think the opposite of talking is listening but usually it’s not. The opposite of talking is ‘waiting to talk’. We are formulating our next statement in our head while we’re nodding it (or shaking it) and not really hearing what is being said.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. I’m listening and I’m grateful you’re listening to me.
Thanks for listening,
PS – if this was helpful to you, please share it with your friends and agents you know that would benefit from being a part of this gang. We’d love to connect with more folks. If you sign up below you will get a checklist to start your referral-based real estate business. We’ll stay in touch with more tips, courses, and info. It’s free and you can unsubscribe anytime. Give it a try and see if we can help.
- I wasn’t there but..